Whatever you are, be a good one.

RESOLUTION (n.): a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner

I have never been a big fan of making a "New Years resolution." And what I mean by that is I always think of some, but keep them to myself so as to not be held accountable to them...I know...I'll spare you the rest of my pathetic excuses....Anyways, a dear friend of mine used to say this Abraham Lincoln quote quite often and it always, even if for just a moment, stopped me in my tracks:

(side note - If I could go back in history and meet someone, it would definitely be Abraham Lincoln; he left behind some powerful words and ideas)

"Whatever you are, be a good one."

Sweet and simple. What am I? OK not so simple when you get down to it. Perhaps it's simply answered if we're talking about what I do on a daily basis--my job title--but what about the things that make up who I am no matter where I am or what "job" I have?

What am I?

I am a lover and follower of Christ. I am a daughter, granddaughter, sister, cousin, niece and soon-to-be aunt. I am a traveler. I am a visitor in a foreign land. I am destined for eternity with the King of Kings. I am a dancer, follower and leader. I am a student and teacher. I am the person who organizes every item in her grocery cart. I am clearly a daughter of Eve as I am in constant struggle to forsake the prideful desires of my heart. I am a sinner but I am free. I am a selfish planner of a life that was already planned out for me. I am a listener and a talker. I am a reader and dreamer. I am a child.

Very well. But truth is, I am only because the one and only "I AM" loved me enough to send His one and only Son to a fallen and dark world, to be born in a lowly manger as the child of an unmarried virgin and carpenter. He sent his one and only Son to be crucified on a cross FOR us. But the story doesn't end there: as God promised, He resurrected His Son to sit at the right-hand of the throne of God as the propitiation for our sins. He bridges the gap between a perfect God and sinful man. His faithful promise makes me a co-heir with Christ; an adopted daughter of the Creator of the galaxies. Christ came so that we might be FREE in Him.

So really none of "what I am" matters unless I AM A CHILD OF GOD.

HE is worth all of my time, energy and money. HE is worth pursuing. I resolve to treat every day as if it were the day Christ comes to finally bring me home.

"Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation...if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?...Christ Jesus, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?...I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:12-17; 31-39

Well said.

I love quotes. Therefore, I also love quoting things. (side note: I am not referring to movie quotes..though I love them too) I'm pretty sure this is a transparent part of my personality that everyone knows, being that I usually want to share the good quotes or verses I discover or recall. Lately I have been wondering why it is that I enjoy finding good quotes, hearing good quotes, and telling others good quotes. Why? Because others are better writers than I am? maybe. Because someone finally voiced what I've been thinking all along? sometimes. Because others are more clever than I am? no, that can't be it (just kidding). In all seriousness though, I've been thinking about my answer to why I enjoy good quotes...I thought of two things:

1. Personal Experience: You can tell when the author [of said quote] accurately transfers the original emotions tied to the words, because it becomes personal. Well-written literature has something that brings it to life - whether it's through the imagery, the language use, or just the content - and you can relate to whomever the author may be when the quote speaks to you heart.

2. Personal Encouragement: I was created to need encouragement on a daily basis. Let me just tell you how much relief I felt when I realized this.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness." Hebrews 3:13

Matt Carter read this verse in his sermon this past Sunday at Austin Stone. Carter was talking about our need for biblical community, because from it we develop more in-depth relationships, we are pastored, we are encouraged, and we endure. For fear of becoming that "needy" friend, I tend to keep my challenges inside and resist help from others. I realized by my doing that, I keep others from living out their biblical community. God CREATED us to live in community, to live life together, to need and want relationships, to walk alongside of others and struggle together.

SO, with that said, thought I would include several favorites at the moment.

"Sing Me To Heaven"
(a song we sang in my High school choir):

"In my hearts sequestered chambers lie truths stripped of poet’s gloss. Words alone are vain and vacant and my heart is mute. In response to aching silence memories summon half-heard voices. And my heart finds primal eloquence and wraps me in song. Wraps me in song…If you would comfort me; sing me a lullaby. If you would win my heart; sing me a love song. If you would mourn me and bring me to God. Touch in me all love and passion; pain and pleasure. Touch in me, touch in me, grief and comfort; love and passion; pain and pleasure. Sing me a lullaby; a love song; a requiem. Love me; comfort me; bring me to God. Sing me a love song. Sing me to heaven."

"Christ's resurrection and our newness of life"
(from one of Charles Spurgeon's sermons -1891):

"There is a happiness to be enjoyed by truly whole-hearted believers which some even of God's own children would think to be impossible...I have seen boys bathing in a river in the morning. One of them has just dipped his toes in the water, and he cries out, as he shivers, "Oh, it's so cold!" Another has gone in up to his ankles, and he also declares that it is fearfully chilly. But see! another runs to the bank, and takes a header. He rises all in a glow. All his blood is circulating, and he cries "Delicious! What a beautiful morning! I am all in a glow. The water is splendid!" That is the boy for enjoying a bath! You Christian people who are paddling about in the shallows of religion, and just dipping your toes into it—you stand shivering in the cold air of the world which you are afraid to leave. Oh, that you would plunge into the river of life! How it would brace you! What tone it would give you! In for it, young man! In for it! Be a Christian, out and out. Serve the Lord with your whole being. Give yourself wholly to him who bought you with his blood. Plunge into the sacred flood by grace, and you will exclaim—'Oh, this is life! Oh, this is joy, My God, to find thee so! Thy face to see, thy voice to hear, And all thy love to know.' May we thus walk in newness of life! Amen."

How To Enjoy Life
(Audrey Hepburn):

"For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness, For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people, For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry, For Beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day, For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others."

"A Return To Love"

(Marianne Williamson - 1992):

"Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be so brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God: Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

"The Road Not Taken"
(Robert Frost -1920):

"TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

Cinco Días en la República Dominicana

3 - Augusto - 10

Villa Montellano - camp at Makarios, day two
Let me share one of my favorite memories of camp today: Precious little 6(ish) year old Dauri was playing futbol with me and he kicked it into the large mud area right in front of the goal. I began to hear different people yelling at me NOT to go get it. Apparently my lack of listening traveled with me overseas because I ran to get it for us and immediately sank. My shoes were covered in mud. So i kicked the ball over the Dauri and grabbed a stick to begin scraping it off. All of a sudden Dauri appears, grabs the stick, picks up my foot, turns his back to me so I can hold on to him and begins to scrape the mud off of my feet. He did not stop until the mud was almost entirely off. What a joyful and yet sobering moment, to witness that a young child knows the definition of servanthood better than I do. Sweet Niño.

Today is our break from construction. After lunch at El Campito, we went to visit the two villages that the Mak school kids are bused from....

(Be prepared - if this post seem choppy, or has a lack of detail, it is because I do not feel it appropriate to attempt to describe some of the situations we saw...with that said, please keep these villages and these people in your prayers. I know you don't have specific names or places or prayer requests to pray for...but God works in larger ways than we can comprehend; do not let that limit your prayers - He still hears you :)

...The first village is Chichigua - a Haitian village about 15 minutes down a very narrow, bumpy, dusty path. We pulled up to a group of multi-color, tin dwellings - sure didn't look large enough to be a village, and the housing situation seemed barely liveable. We were told about 100 people now live there. Wow. 100? How? Where? The village was on a hill surrounded by farmland filled with tall sugar cane crop. Uphill from the houses, there was a cleared space full of tall weeds and trash. To the left was the futbol goal: three long, thin tree trunks bound together to create a futbol goal. To the right was the basketball goal: a tall, thin tree trunk in the ground, a piece of flat wood nailed to it as the backboard, and a plastic ring as the hoop.

...This village was extremely hard to see. Most Haitians living in the DR still speak a form of Creole, so it is a little more difficult communicating. However, what was more frustrating was seeing how these kids clearly knew the "white people routine." We come, walk around, stare, take pictures, bring things, play with them for a while, then gather our stuff together and leave. You can see it in their faces and their mannerisms. They were almost "comfortable" with us being there. I now understand just how much of a blessing it is that Makarios is trying to break this norm. They do not want to be an American organization that just passes free things out...because is that what these people need? Does giving these children a bunch of stuff cure their sickness? Does it satisfy their hunger? Does it quench their thirst? Or will it just fuel their prideful, selfish nature like it has me?

...The second village is Poncho Mateo- a village a little closer to the school that has both Haitians and Dominicana's. This village was more spread out, it was in the shape of a semi-circle with a basketball court in the middle. We were told quite a bit of history about this village, some of which I'm not sure is appropriate to share. One thing that may help paint a clearer picture, was that this village used to be segregated with Dominicana's on one side and Haitian's on the other (the basketball court separating the two). Over time, thanks to various events and people, they have begun to mix and for the short amount of time we spent here, the basketball court seemed to be neutral ground, so that is where we played. These kids were a little more open to hanging out with us--we drew with chalk on the cement, blew bubbles, climbed trees, and played basketball. I began to feel myself pulling away from each child I met-not physically, but emotionally. I still played with them, but I didn't ask their names, I didn't ask about their families, I didn't make conversation. I didn't even realize what I was doing until after I got home.

...I came back to the Mak house with lots of mixed emotions. I was still feeling sick all day, so I was exhausted physically, but I realized I was also exhausted emotionally and spiritually - like I had "run out" and my stock needed to be replenished. I realized that emotions cannot sustain us, because there comes a point in which there is too much to sort through.

Lord, I do pray that you heal me physically, but most importantly, I pray you heal me spiritually. Help me to sort out these feelings and emotions and transform my thoughts and my heart to Yours. Remove whatever distraction is holding me back and give me the energy to love these kids the way You love them.

God's wisdom is perfect.

My mom sent me a link to a blog called "Musings of the Heart" today and my heart was humbled quite a bit from one of the excerpts:

"God’s wisdom is perfect. In His omnipotence He sees what we as humans cannot. He knows what transpires in the minds of men. He knows the consequences of every action we will undertake. Moreover, His judgement is not clouded by the corruption of sin. Our judgement is tainted by wickedness. It is for this reason that we often act out of sinful impulses and selfish gain. But God, because He is holy and just, can only act out of righteousness and purity. In His love, He offered up Himself to us on the Cross so that, through His cleansing of our sinful nature and through Him indwelling in our hearts, He will be able to guide our lives according to His flawless wisdom. As long as we stay within His good and perfect will, we are assured of the promise that our evil desires will not ensnare us and that the poison of regret will not consume us. How do we discern the will of God? It is only through prayer and the reading of His Word. By spending time in His presence, He will give us the strength to abandon all that is holding us back, and the wisdom to make the most of every second of the lives He has given to us by allowing Him to guide our steps. With Him as our compass, let us look forward with hope and embrace the glorious future He has planned for us!" (emphasis mine)

Click. Can you see that shining light bulb above my head? He's the Lord of Nations and the Creator of Heaven and Earth. If He wanted to get a message across, He could spell it out in the clouds; but yet He chooses to use profoundly simple truth's to reveal Himself to us.

I've been praying lately for discernment between where the Lord is guiding me and my own attempts to guide myself. I continue to hear a resounding, "just wait." I'm a person who attempts to plan, control and organize her way through life....

I bite my lip a little harder. My eyes get twice as big.

Why are those two words so hard? I believe the Lord has perfect timing and I believe "in all things God works for the good of those who love him.." (Romans 8:28). HOWEVER, my version of waiting isn't very peaceful; in fact it's more like: You want me to wait? What am I waiting for? Why am I waiting? When will I be done waiting? Maybe I'll be done waiting by next week!? Can you distract me so that I don't know that I'm waiting for something?

Lord I assume you shake your head at me a lot...sorry.

After thinking about how ridiculous I sound, I realized that I shouldn't be fighting Him on this. I should be drawn to thankful adoration; praising Him for giving me that answer! The Lord ALLOWS me to rest in Him; to wait safely under His protection; to release all of my anxious thoughts and worries onto Him. The Lord will give me the strength to abandon all that is holding me back, and give me the wisdom [His perfect wisdom!] to make the most of every second of the life He's given me...

Wow. How He can continually love a people that so often get it wrong is beyond my comprehension. What a patient, majestic, loving, merciful, perfect Father I have...that He would never leave my side though my heart is so prone to wander.

Cuatro Días en la República Dominicana

2-August-2010

Villa Montellano (Tamarindo), DR - camp at Makarios, day one
Our first day of camp! Quick breakdown of what camp looks like for the next three days:
About 25 kids arrive, ages 6-12. These kids used to go to Makarios school, but as Mak only has two grades right now--pre-k and kinder--they can no longer go to this school. Before camp begins, Mak provides a breakfast for them: banana, hard-boiled egg, bread, a vitamin, clean drinking water.

(side note: some of the kids do not eat their entire breakfast, they save some of it to bring home to their families. Words can't quite describe the heavy feeling in my heart at this moment.)

After breakfast, we all meet together to sing some songs, split up for a bible story, memory verse, and craft time. Then for the last few hours of camp we walk down to "the play" (the park) for sports and recreation. Around lunch time we head back to the school for snacks and to send the kids home -- well, we attempt to send them home. This task is quite difficult as many of them want to just hang around outside of the school gates. Lord, thank you for giving these children a safe haven; a place to feel comfortable; a place to hang out at.

(side note: Yulena is a sweet little nine-yr-old I got to hang out with. When we got back from "the play," we had a few minutes before it was time to go so she pulled out a few books and put them in front of me. "El árbol generoso" (The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein). As I opened my mouth to begin reading, I heard her soft sweet voice read the first few words on the page. She continued to read to me for the next few minutes until it was time to go. I'm used to kids asking me to read to them but it was refreshing to be read to. I know that sounds silly - but I had this feeling of re-assurance. Maybe the Lord was trying to remind me that HE will protect and watch-over these children and all I can do is love them, equip them, encourage them, and just...be...with them.)

I love the way kids can love on you when you've only just met; they don't have reservations or feelings of disapproval yet, they just love. It is no wonder that when the disciples came to Christ arguing about who was "greater" that He said:

"I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me..." Matthew 18:3-5

Children understand love and faith in ways I have begun to forget about as I grow up. They GIVE love without reservations - not yet worried as to whether or not it will be returned. What if we still loved like that? With reckless abandon; no reservations; no expectations; no strings-attached.

Tres Días en la República Dominicana

1 - August - 2010

Day Three- Puerto Plata (Villa Montellano), DR
¡Jesús es mío! Vivo en él. Jesus in mine! I live in Him.
Today we were invited to visit the church Chris and Erika go to - Iglesia Templo Biblico. Of course I didn't understand most of what was said, but I could follow along and get the jist of it. The pastor talked about Hebreos 7:1-28

"If perfection could have been attained through the Levitical priesthood...why was there still a need for another priest to come..?" (verse 11) That's just it - perfection can NOT be found in the law (verse 19), because the law makes nothing perfect; it's flawed; it is unfulfilling; ONLY Christ can make us a better offer. Only Christ can reign forever. So just any priest was not good enough because it didn't bring a Savior. Only God can satisfy our need - and He accomplished that through His covenant to send an eternal priest (Christ) to intercede on our behalf (verse 28).

...what a powerful morning worshiping the same God in different languages. It's incredible to see how to Lord works. He is so big....alone we can do nothing, but with Christ we can move mountains.

After church we went to La Tienda...the moment I stepped out of the gua gua, a little girl ran up to me and grabbed my hand. No words were exchanged. For some reason, nothing I could or wanted to say seemed appropriate. So instead, we walked silently to La Tienda, where she held her grasp as I walked through the shop. When it was time to go, she gave me a little squeeze and walked away. This might sound silly, but I feel like just holding her hand was enough for both of us at that moment. My heart aches thinking about her sweet little face and the feel of her dirty, calloused fingers. She was beautiful. Lord, how did you travel from poor village to poor village - touching, healing, loving on the sick, the children, the sinners? One little girl comes along and my heart adores her in less than a minute. Lord, I pray she would be surrounded by those who love You and know You. Watch over Your little ones...

Porque mejor es un día en tus atrios que mil fuera de ellas. Salmo 84:10
"Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere." Psalm 84:10

En la República Dominicana

What a blessing to be in my early twenties and to have already traveled to a handful of places around the world. Naturally, it's safe to say each new place has shaped my perceptions of different cultures, but it's also safe to say each new place has helped define who I am. It is easy to get caught up in the rhythm of our own lives; but once you experience different people groups, and once you've seen their beautiful environments, things for you are never quite the same.

One thing I am glad to have from each trip is a journal. When I read back through each journal, I remember the beautiful sights, the joys, the struggles, the questions, the people, the excitement, and of course the growth.

Here's the first excerpt of thoughts and prayers from while I was in the D.R:


31 - July - 2010

Day Two - Puerto Plata (Los Ciruelos y Tamarindo), DR
...It was a hot and exhausting way to spend several hours (moving dirt and cement blocks) - but a joy to serve Mak and the community. The more help they receive, the faster classrooms get built. The more classrooms they have, the more kids that get to go to school. The more money they save on labor, the more money they have to spend on the children at the school.

When we finished for the day, Juan drove us back to the Mak house to shower and prep for dinner.

(side note: cold showers are awesome. it's a new experience though, having a cold shower and still feel dirty and sticky. Welcome to summer in the DR - hot, humid, dusty)

I love the community around here. The Mak staff has served us, while not treating us like guests. What I mean is, they love us like brothers and sisters; we became part of the Mak family the moment we stepped in the door. It's such a beautiful picture of love to see our group and the Mak staff (strangers up until today) working and living together. There were tons of hands helping out today - construction, paint chipping, prepping dinner, cooking, cleaning, etc. We are not here to just visit this beautiful island, we're here to serve and love on the people here.

I can't help but think THIS is the perfect picture of what Christ calls us to do and be - living in unity and community, and forsaking our comforts for HIS glory.

It's not about us, it's about Him and it's about them.

...Lord, I pray you open my eyes to the things unseen; not just the beautiful landscape; not just the tragically impoverished villages. Transform my eyes to see what You see. Transform my heart to break and cry out for what Yours does. Help me to resist the selfish temptation to think I can help or save them - it is only through You...

I am no fool...

Two posts in one week? On a roll..While my sister is graciously putting together some new blog designs for me - I decided to create a "favorite photos" page on my blog. You can check them out using the tab at the top.

Also the main reason for this post is to share one of my new favorite quotes:

"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." -Jim Elliot

Austin Stone invited J.D. Greear-pastor from the Summit Church in Durham, North Carolina-to speak last Sunday. The Summit Church has a mission to plant churches all over the world and J.D. spoke about having a love for the world, like Christ does. His sermon encouraged me to evaluate where my focus is as I prepare for the Dominican Republic. Where would I be without Jesus? I would be one of the ~1.6 BILLION unreached lost people (my heart aches when I read that reality). I did nothing to deserve His love and grace, but by the grace of God, "He who promised is faithful" (Hebrews 10:23). My focus is so easily turned inward; selfishly fixating on how my own story will be told. I am not the main character - God is. His story is the one to be told. What a joy to be able to share it. Praise the Lord that He CHOSE to use me; that He CHOSE to cast me in His story at all.

So what does this quote mean to me? It means Jesus is so valuable that I would give anything to follow Him. It means I forfeit my story, for the sake of His. And what do I gain? I gain Him. I gain a heart that breaks when His breaks over a broken people. I gain love only because He loves me and shows me How to love others. I gain the freedom to laugh when He gives me joy. I gain the freedom to strengthen my faith when He allows me to experience struggles.
I gain life; meaningful, everlasting life.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace...He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live."

~Ecclesiastes 3:1-12 ♥ you B.